The Madness of Chancellor George

There was relief yesterday after it emerged that the police have finally cornered extremist fanatic, George 'Paleface' Osborne, in his Central London apartment. Osborne is wanted after the anaemic maniac recently went on a murderous rampage, cutting and slashing wildly and indiscriminately at poor and vulnerable minorities across the land. It is understood that Osborne was already known to the security services as a petty Qonservative and that he became seriously radicalised after a spell in the Bullingdon Club in his youth. A source told me:

"We know that Osborne has also been heavily influenced by the crazed free-market rantings of the notorious hate cleric, Thatchertollah Maggieini. He also attended an al-Qonservative training camp where he learned how to damage or destroy those less privileged than himself. Like many militants inspired by the radical ideology of al-Qonservatives, Osborne seems to have believed he would be rewarded in heaven if he reduced the 50p tax rate".

When he went on the spree against the poor and the elderly in Parliament on 21 March, Osborne shouted "Allahu Maggie" ("Thatcher is great" in Toryspeak), "Britain is open for business", and, chillingly, "I commend this Budget to the House".


Osborne: "It is easier for a rich man to pass through a camel, than to collect the 50p tax rate off him""

Questions are now being raised about how Osborne was able to get away with these terrible crimes. Perhaps the lesson is that the UK needs to be more aware of the different faces that violent al-Qonservative extremism can assume. The security source continued:

"Belonging to the al-Qonservatives is not an offence in and of itself, though some people think it should be; we cannot mix up free-market fundamentalism with hate crimes, even if we know there are elements that unite them."

For young, grossly wealthy, posh boys, of Tory background, in the Southern banlieus (suburbs), to feel the call of al-Qonservatives is not in itself unusual. What is different in Osborne's case is that he appears to have revelled in committing his brazen crimes in the middle of the day and with plenty of witnesses.

This whole episode should cause the whole of UK society to look at itself very deeply and question just how it was possible for our society to produce such a disaffected and odious young millionaire. Better intelligence may have stopped him sooner but, ultimately, only united opposition to this virulent and hate-filled faith will protect us from spiralling inequality and despair.