We Got Him!

Incredibly, some people do not accept he is dead. "Show us the photographic evidence", they clamour. Without seeing the photos a small band of fanatics will still believe their leader lives. "No, the corpse is in too gruesome a state", comes the reply, "this guy has clearly suffered a terrible drubbing and public disclosure would cause great distress". But now even his most dedicated followers admit that Nick Clegg is no more. Details are sketchy but Clegg has been accused of using interns as a human shield to protect him from attacks; he was also rumoured to have been naked apart from a proposal for reform of the House of Lords. His demise was greeted with joyful celebrations in some quarters. One celebrant, Mr Chris Huhne, declared: "We got him! This man ruined my life when he destroyed my career as the rightful leader of the Lib Dems. Now justice has been done."